From Adequate Man authored b
“A boozy office party was starting to dwindle, and as the drunker among us were sneaking off to find dark corners and hidden alcohol reserves, the reasonable ones had switched to water. The evening had kicked off early so it felt much later than it actually was. By any standard, it was a Thursday, and we’d all have to be back there the next morning.
My co-worker turned to our group. It was time to go home, he said, and offered our other male co-worker a handshake. Emboldened by beer, I stuck out my hand for a handshake when my turn came. It felt like an act of defiance—partly a joke, because it somehow felt too formal to shake hands with my co-worker, but it was an instigation too, because I didn’t understand exactly why a cross-sex handshake felt so odd. He looked down at my hand and laughed, and then opened his arms for a hug. I laughed too, undercutting my social experiment for fear of embarrassing one or both of us, and accepted the embrace.
The incident wasn’t a big deal; my co-worker is a close enough friend that the hug didn’t feel out of line. But others I’d received in the past from men in professional settings had felt less natural and more invasive, and from talking to other women, I’m definitely not alone.”
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