“How are your kids doing?

It isn’t the question itself that bothers Katie Porter. The freshman Democratic congresswoman from California, a single mom of three children, is perfectly aware that inquiring about another person’s family is just polite small talk.

But there’s something about the way some people ask her, the subtle emphasis on that last word — “how are your kids doing?” — that makes her bristle.

“As if they’re suffering,” Porter said. Her colleagues surrounding her in the stately room at the Library of Congress nodded knowingly. “As if they’re not thriving and doing great.”

The nine women who had gathered for an early breakfast on a recent morning — fellow mothers and members of the House of Representatives, joined by FCC Commissioner Jessica Rosenworcel — could tell variations of this same story, about the myriad moments when they felt questioned or judged for living publicly as mothers who hold particularly high-profile jobs.”