Take five: “The most effective solutions come from listening to women”

From UN Women:

“Shamima Ali is a feminist activist from Fiji. She is the chairperson and one of the founding members of the Pacific Women’s Network Against Violence Against Women. She has been a Coordinator at the Fiji Women’s Crisis Centre for the past 31 years. Ms. Ali has also served as a Human Rights Commissioner in Fiji from 2004 to 2006. Her work has included developing and conducting training with police and other service-providers in Fiji and in the Pacific region. Over the years, UN Women has worked in partnership with FWCC on advancing national guidelines for gender-based violence response in Fiji, and supported activities to prevent gender-based violence, including during crises. Ms. Ali recently spoke at an event organized by UN Women at its Headquarters in New York where she talked about what’s driving high levels of violence against women in Fiji and how it can be prevented.”

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Finally, More Women Are Asking for Raises. But There’s a Catch

From The Wall Street Journal authored by Michelle Ma:

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7 Things To Do (And Not Do) Before Giving Notice

From Above the Law authored by Richard Cohen:

“Thinking of quitting? Of moving on to greener pastures? Good for you – you deserve it!

Thinking of grabbing a folder of sample documents, walking out the door, and giving the finger to the boss and all of your miserable co-workers?

Not such a good idea.

In any case, you’ve thought about your future – hopefully a lot – and made a business plan, or at least a wish list of where you want to be in five or ten years. Good for you. Law school taught you something (and when you find out what it is, please let me know!)

But have you thought about the present? That is, what steps you need to take – or want to take – before you give that too-long-in-coming notice that you are quitting?

Employment law is hot these days for many reasons, not least of which is the rapidly changing nature of the economy, the mobility of the workforce and working remotely, and the (sometimes) hit-and-miss legislative efforts to keep up. And at a micro level, all of this affects you and your relationship with employers – past, present, and future.”

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The Fantasy of a Female Hugh Hefner

From Medium  authored by Ann Friedman:

“In the wake of Hugh Hefner’s death, I’m not interested in arguing about whether the Playboy founder was a sexual pioneer or a feminist. You know what’s not novel and transgressive? Rich white men in mansions enjoying access to women’s bodies and presenting their lifestyle as the height of culture.

But I’d be lying if I told you there wasn’t something sort of appealing to me, a 21st-century woman, about the Hefner lifestyle. To make Hef relevant in 2017, all you need to do is flip the gender: a woman running her media empire in the comfort of her loose-fitting silk pajamas, sipping a tumbler of whiskey carried to her by much-younger men (called “ponies,” or whatever animal nickname most excites her) with strong jawlines and some barely-there hot pants? Now she just might be a pioneer.

Perhaps the gender-flipped Hefner fantasy is attractive because of how far women still have to go when it comes to being seen as sexual and powerful at the same time. A man can brag about his exploits in the bedroom and, at the same time, be respected as an entrepreneur and a political force. (This is true even when the exploits are nonconsensual: Ask anyone who voted for our pussy-grabbing president.) When women are widely accepted as powerful figures — be it in politics, media, or business — they tend also to be seen as sexless, if not frigid. And when they’re known for being sexual, they tend to be shamed as much as lauded for the power they derive from their sexuality. To consider a female Hefner is to ponder what it might look like to truly transcend this Catch-22.”

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How Design Taught Me to Be a ‘Human-Centered’ Lawyer

From Medium  authored by Rochael Soper Adranly:

“Not long after I began working with IDEO, I had the privilege of taking part in IDEO’s project to design how its new internal legal group would operate. For those unfamiliar with IDEO’s process, each project begins with a “looking in” phase in which the design team interviews project stakeholders and shares their feedback.

During the project shareback, one of the designers held up a piece of paper with this quote:

“Interacting with legal was one of the worst experiences of my life.”

Full stop.

Maybe the commenter was talking about me. Maybe she was talking about another lawyer. Maybe she was commenting on the legal process generally. It didn’t matter. For the first time in my career, I thought about the impact I have on the people I interact with in my role as a lawyer, and how that impact might be quite negative.

We never discussed anything like this in law school. Instead, we focused on “making cases,” “winning arguments,” and “clerking for the right judge.” Later, as Biglaw associates, we talked about “billing hours,” “closing deals,” and “working with the right partner.” But I don’t recall ever being asked, “How did your client feel about how you handled that matter?” or, “How did the lawyer on the other side of that call feel about the interaction?” Or, for that matter, “Are you providing a colleague or client with one of the worst experiences of his life?” We talk about these issues all the time at IDEO when it comes to our clients and their customers, but they aren’t things I ever talked about with fellow attorneys.

In that moment, I made a decision: There was no reason I couldn’t do my job — and do it well — and care about the experience of the people I was affecting.”

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Gaslighting for Beginners

From Medium authored by Sarah Cooper:

 “8 Gaslighting Techniques to use at work. Gaslighting at work is all the rage. You’ve definitely had it done to you. but how can you use this powerful psychological tactic to your own advantage? Here are 8 gaslighting techniques to slowly drive your coworkers crazy.”

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Under New French Law, Retouched Photos Of Models Must Bear Warning Label

From HuffPost  authored by Dominique Mosbergen

“Photoshopping models in fashion ads has become such a norm that when companies choose not to retouch their commercials, it makes headlines.

France, however, is on a crusade to change that standard. As of Sunday, a new French law mandates that any commercial photo in which the “body of the model has been modified … to either slim or flesh out her figure” must bear a “photographie retouchée” (“retouched photograph”) label, reports France 24.

Failing to abide by the law could cost rule-breakers a fine of up to $44,000.

French officials said the rule was enacted in an effort to reduce the number of “unrealistic images of bodies” that children and young people are exposed to.”

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Why the Best Attorneys Are So Hard on Themselves and Others

From BCG Attorney Search authored by Harrison Barnes:

The first job I ever had was as an asphalt contractor in Grosse Pointe, Michigan. Grosse Pointe is an area of about 25,000 people that is socially stratified between middle class and very wealthy people. The city is built along the shores of Lake St. Claire. The wealthiest families tend to live along the lake. As you move away from the lake the houses get smaller and smaller until you arrive in Detroit—which is very poor.

Asphalt cracks in the winter in cold climates, which causes it to break up and look bad, so each year people from all wealth brackets were happy to have me work on their driveways. This was a source of income that kept me busy all summer. I generally would start my summers working on the larger lakefront homes and move inland as the summer progressed.

After several years, I started to notice some patterns. First, I would make the most money and have the least stress doing the work for the people on the “poorer streets” farthest from the lake. The less wealthy people would not bargain about the cost as much, were less critical, paid faster and were easier to work with. Moreover, they generally were very nice people and easy to work with. They would also make decisions about doing the work quite quickly—the same day I came around trying to sell them the work.

In contrast, working for the wealthiest people with mansions was very unpleasant. They would take a long time to decide whether or not to have the work done. They would ask for references. They would bargain the price down to a level where I did not make much money. They

would micromanage the projects. They were highly critical of the work when it was being done and after. They would bargain about the price after the work was done. They would withhold payment for inconsequential reasons. They would complain and itemize their complaints about inconsequential things in writing. All in all, they were extremely difficult to work with and I rarely made much money despite the giant sizes of the jobs. The wealthy people would crush my self-esteem and they were extremely good at it.

I started to understand something early on: The most successful and wealthiest people are the most demanding and the hardest to work for. They are also wealthy (most likely) because of their high standards and because they are able to see so much of what is going on around them.

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WOMEN AREN’T NAGS—WE’RE JUST FED UP

From Harpers Bazaar authored by Gemma Hartley:

“For Mother’s Day I asked for one thing: a house cleaning service. Bathrooms and floors specifically, windows if the extra expense was reasonable. The gift, for me, was not so much in the cleaning itself but the fact that for once I would not be in charge of the household office work. I would not have to make the calls, get multiple quotes, research and vet each service, arrange payment and schedule the appointment. The real gift I wanted was to be relieved of the emotional labor of a single task that had been nagging at the back of my mind. The clean house would simply be a bonus.

My husband waited for me to change my mind to an “easier” gift than housecleaning, something he could one-click order on Amazon. Disappointed by my unwavering desire, the day before Mother’s Day he called a single service, decided they were too expensive, and vowed to clean the bathrooms himself. He still gave me the choice, of course. He told me the high dollar amount of completing the cleaning services I requested (since I control the budget) and asked incredulously if I still wanted him to book it.

What I wanted was for him to ask friends on Facebook for a recommendation, call four or five more services, do the emotional labor I would have done if the job had fallen to me. I had wanted to hire out deep cleaning for a while, especially since my freelance work had picked up considerably. The reason I hadn’t done it yet was part guilt over not doing my housework, and an even larger part of not wanting to deal with the work of hiring a service. I knew exactly how exhausting it was going to be. That’s why I asked my husband to do it as a gift.”

 

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San Diego attorney was among those killed in Las Vegas concert shooting

From The San Diego Union-Tribune authored by Karen Kucher and Dana Littlefield:

“Friends have identified one of the concertgoers killed in the Las Vegas mass shooting Sunday night as San Diego attorney Jennifer T. Irvine.

Irvine, 42, was at the Route 91 Harvest Festival with friends when she was killed.

Kyle Kraska, sports director for CBS News 8, said Monday that he had known Irvine for about 15 years. He described her as a smart, friendly and bubbly woman who enjoyed life and brought joy to others.

“She was like a little sister,” he said in a phone interview. “I just adore Jen.”

Kraska said he had seen the news reports before getting on a plane early Monday morning and was aware that there were fatalities in the Las Vegas shooting. But it wasn’t until he landed in Chicago a few hours later that he learned Irvine was among them.”

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